Relationships

Part 1

1. C
2.  C 
3. B
4. C
5. B

Part 2

Note-Taking

• Relationship problems are usually set outside the social norms.
• Chaos arises outside the social norms due to a lack of guidelines.
• To formulate order, one has to negotiate.
• Relationship longevity depends on the process and manner of negotiations.
• Acknowledging the wants of both partners is crucial in negotiations.
• Having a challenging partner creates peace in the daily struggle to get along.
• Sufficient tension in a relationship enables mutual transformation.
• People stay in antagonistic relationships with the hope that it will soon be better.

Video Summary

Most individuals that present their relationship problems have set their relationship up outside the social norms. They are occupied by the notion that marriage is just a piece of paper. They are stating that marriage ends at obtaining a certificate with no obligation to each other. Such individuals always want to be free of social constraints to negotiate personal ways. Individuals from failed relationships value freedom at the expense of time wasted running away from responsibility. Significantly few people can negotiate because it is either ship in or out of the social order. Once out of the social order, chaos presents due to a lack of guidelines. To formulate order, one has to negotiate a solution out. Identify what they want and understand their partner cannot articulate all their wants.

In a study to predict the longevity of your relationship, patterns of negotiations are assessed between partners. The speaker investigated the number of positive interactions per negative interaction for a stable relationship. The view was that the more positive interactions per a single negative interaction, the more stable the relationship. People end up thinking that individuals with constant bliss and compliments have a likelihood of a hundred positive interactions to one negative interaction. When the ratio of favorable to negative falls below five to one, the relationship is bound to fall. People usually feel negative emotions more than positive emotions. Individuals can be easily hurt more than they can be pleased. However, this is not the case for most relationships. Some people will not go for bliss and compliments, while others will remain in seemingly miserable relationships.

People always want individuals that they contend with as they don’t expect easy-to-go things. The Kierkegaard phenomena talks of deciding to make things more difficult for people. Going out with someone who adores you with many positive compliments, not giving you room to express yourself, loses your respect. People go for more challenging and exciting partners with constant struggle from both partners to get along. Tensions in relationships create a process of mutual understanding between the partners. Seemingly miserable relationships get along well as partners are challenged to each other to co-exist. The video summarizes that there is no perfect relationship. It only depends on how you negotiate with your partner to make the marriage work. 

Wasting a lot of time outside talking of there is nothing as marriage is ignorance. Once in a relationship or marriage, be willing to have meaningful negotiations for the relationship to last. State your wants and acknowledge your partner’s wants, bearing in mind that your spouse can articulate not all your wants. Listening to one another is vital for peaceful cohabitation.

Part Three

Marriage is a ritually or socially established union between two people or spouses. When two people publicly make their relationship to be official and permanent, then that is marriage. The community has had various mindsets on marriage over the past years. Previously, those who went against the set marital, social norms were excluded from the family either by violence, social exclusion, family boycott, and death. Civilization, advancement, and education eliminate several myths, taboos, and religious beliefs. Marital beliefs have considerably changed, with a transformation from guardians mitigated marriages to dating personal choice engagement arising as an activity that creates a new culture. The rise in premarital sex is a revelation of a decline in a close association between love, sex, and marriage (Ashwini et al., 2019 ).

Modernization has led to a deviation in social norms, mainly in adolescents, inclusive of their sexual habits (Nurmala et al., 2019). PremaritalPremarital sex is a common trend in adolescence. People grow to get to marriage when they have developed sexual habits at an early age during adolescence. In adolescence, teenagers are curious about sexual life, leading to searching for sex information either in books or the internet. Some also develop sexual behaviors such as seduction, whistling, dressing up, teasing, and rolling eyes to attract the opposite sex. Sexual activity is aimed at fulfilling sexual urge and getting pleasure (Zubaidah, Maria & Rusdiana, 2020)

Virginity over the years has always been valued to be a great virtue. However, with the changing sociosexual trends in the United States and other parts of the world, premarital sex has become a norm. Evidence is observed in sexual debut taking place in late adolescence. Individuals practicing abstinence are usually stigmatized in the community when it gets to form a romantic relationship. They are viewed to be sexually inexperienced hence cannot be vital in a sexual relationship. An individual who has abstained from sex throughout his life will challenge getting a soul mate due to little experience in romantic affairs. Even the fellow inexperienced adults are attracted to the experienced adults (Gesselman & Webster, 2017)

Modernization shifts family habits in non-western nations to emulate the western model dictated by industrialization and civilization. Arranged marriages, mainly in Africa and Asia, involve guardians, friends, and other family members selecting for a spouse. The evolving society expects the current youth or adult is getting into marriage to get a spouse personally. The change in expectation is brought about by a replacement of arranged marriages with love marriages. The current marriage is based on personal preference for love and sexual attraction towards an individual. Arranged marriages are done based on ethnic belonging, religion, and socioeconomic origin in question (Allendorf & Pandian, 2016).

In arranged marriages, the spouses have little or no contact with minimum information about each other. Arranged marriages are subjected to failure in the current society. Religious and ethnic groups a common belief is diminishing every day. Youths are currently being sent to pursue education in various parts of the world. Wherever the youths go, they meet diverse groups of people and learn to appreciate them.  Compatibility thereby arises between various groups of people, making them co-habit into families. The current society hence expects someone to select a spouse based on his ideologies. It is believed that one’s selection will lead to a relationship with greater longevity (Allendorf & Pandian, 2016 )

Gender has an impact on couple’s lives. Society places man as the old gender in any set up of relationship or engagement. Marriage varies for both men and women. A couple can either be referred to as either ‘his’ or ‘her’ marriage. Men are more advantaged in their marriage as they hold more freedom, power, and control. All these are supported by the formulated marital institutions expressed by the dominant gender roles. The current society has become more egalitarian. However, when it gets to prestige, power, and money, men dominate the three aspects of relationships in this twenty-first century (Sassler & Miller, 2017 ).

In this twenty-first century, new trends and patterns have been in the family have been realized by the new gender roles. There has been an extension of a woman’s role to providing for the family and a change in men’s role to taking part in family responsibilities, especially caregiving to children. The routine family set up the rising gender awareness and family transformations interconnected, and gender revolution conceptualization gains terrain. Advancements associated with the female’s new role have been envisioned to weaken the family. The original stable family structure placed man as head of the family. Families having women as the breadwinner are likely to break as women are not accustomed to this new obligation (Oláh, Kotowska, & Richter, 2018 )

In conclusion, a shift in family structures across the civilized globe has been acknowledged worldwide. Youths engage in early sexual activities that acquaint them with sex before attaining the age of marriage. The social norm of abstinence has been completely degraded. Abstaining individuals face the challenge of getting into relationships as they are considered inexperienced.

Love marriages are replacing arranged marriages since everyone prefers a compatible and sexually attracted partner. Ethnic and religious beliefs are losing value as people interact to appreciate their vast diversity. Family gender roles are reciprocating, with women becoming the providers as males take part in family support systems.

References

Allendorf, K., & Pandian, R. K. (2016). The decline of arranged marriage? Marital change and continuity in India. Population and development review, 42(3), 435.

Ashwini, T., Pratap, K. V. N. R., Padma, T. M., Kalyan, V. S., & Srikanth, P. (2019) Youth Attitude Towards Marriage and Changing Trends in Marriage.

Gesselman, A. N., Webster, G. D., & Garcia, J. R. (2017). Has virginity lost its virtue? Relationship stigma associated with being a sexually inexperienced adult. The Journal of Sex Research, 54(2), 202-213.

Nurmala, I., Ahiyanasari, C. E., Wulandari, A., & Pertiwi, E. D. (2019). PremaritalPremarital sex behavior among adolescents: The influence of subjective norms and perceived behavioral control toward high school students’ attitudes. Malaysian Journal Of Medicine And Health Sciences, 15(3), 110-116.

Oláh, L. S., Kotowska, I. E., & Richter, R. (2018). The new roles of men and women and implications for families and societies. In A Demographic perspective on gender, family, and health in Europe (pp. 41-64). Springer, Cham.

Sassler, S., & Miller, A. (2017). Cohabitation Nation: Gender, class, and the remaking of relationships. Univ of California Press.

Zubaidah, Z., Maria, I., & Rusdiana, R. (2020). The Relationship between Parenting Style and Sexual Behavior before Marriage in Teenagers. Jurnal Ners, 15(2), 553-556.