In most family setups, it is the joy of every parent to give their children the best education system available. A good choice of education system allows children to secure a promising career that is well paying. Every parent believes in their child and is strict and keen to ensure their dreams and wishes come to pass, as a sign of their love for them. In the story ” Two kinds” by Amy tan, Jing-Mei Too, the Chinese woman shares her conflicts with her mother due to her strictness. Later she realized that everything was out of her motherly love. At the beginning of the passage, Mei’s mother is heard shouting at Mei, “turn off the TV! ” but Mei decides to deviate from whatever her mother says and stand for herself. This was because everything sounded like slavery in her mind, and she could not express her full potential. Mei’s mother expresses the aspect of every parent in any given society.
Every parent in society wants to see their children aggressive on the crucial things and not lazing around with the TV’S and other things, to achieve their goals. On the other end, Mei expresses her feeling with the argument that times have changed. Feels that children need to be given their space to explore the world and find out what suits them better in life. To Mei, children need to find their lanes without the support of their parents. Children are not supposed to be regarded as helpless objects. They must be provided with essential needs, and their needs and voices to be recognized by their parent or caregivers.
Both the parent and child are right, but it is of great importance to pay attention to one another’s opinion. Children should also bear in mind that it is by the goodwill that their parents express strictness on them and should always appreciate them. Besides, the differences in thinking and viewing opinions differs between a mother and a child. This may be attributed to several reasons, such as age difference and life experiences. Mei’s mother has passed through hard times in her past life; hence she wants to provide the best life. However, Jing-mei does not understand the pain that her mother is passing through. She knows about the losses, but due to thinking differences and lack of experiences, she does not relate and puts substantial efforts to push and become a strong woman.
Besides, the mother’s desires and ambitions for her daughter seem out of control. The mother does not understand Mei in any way. It is like Mrs. Woo has forgotten how it feels to be a child; hence the family is in disagreement since they cannot speak the same language. There is a conflict between their different languages, youth, and old age perception; hence they cannot understand one other.
On the contrary, the passage demonstrates how powerful, harmful effects of high parental expectations and their effects on a child. Mei’s mothers want to provide what is best for her daughter and undertake any necessary strategy to give her a better life. Whether through behavioral or environmental change, parents pursue the objectives without different opinions. Expectations may grow as a parent develops an ideology of how their child should be. Like Jing-Mei’s situation, the mother trusted that shaping her daughter into a superstar would provide a better life. “My mother thought I could be a Chinese Shirley Temple (32).” This quote shows that the mother set an idea that Mei should lose the sense of originality by abiding by the set standards or imitating the western plan for success. Having that mindset shows how losing identity causes significant consequences when a child does not fulfill any simple task.
Also, the passage portrays that both parents and daughters should have moderation. Neither the mother’s part of high expectation nor Mei’s path of low resistance is balanced, rather than accepting the new opportunities in America. Mie’s mother is only obsessed with ensuring. On the other hand, Jing-Mei guarantees another failure by lack of effort. Mei did not need to be a prodigy to further her piano ambitions, and she needed to get committed. Additionally, Mei’s mother lacks moderation when she does not provide a middle ground. The author says, “there are only two kinds of daughters, that are those who obey and who do no (34-35)”. Hence it is evident that if the family had a fair work ethic or moderate expectation, Jing-mei would have performed better in different scenarios.
To conclude, Tan successfully shows the struggle between motherhood and children. Women are struggling to give a quality life to provide for their families. On the contrary, through Jing-Mei, the author effectively highlights that children should be provided with freedom and equality rights to make their own decisions rather than enforcing new identities. As much as parents want to provide a better life, they should never let their ambitions ruin their relationship with their children. Parents should be moderate and accept that generations have changed while children have told embrace the idea that they should put hard work into everything they do.
Works Cited
Amy T. “Two Kinds.” pp. 31-39, campuspress.yale.edu/summerelp2018/files/2018/08/two-kinds-amy-tan-1nl7j7y.pdf.
